Puppy Love

Benton, our handsome boy

It is a week full of celebrations here this week. Father's Day was on Sunday. Noah's birthday is on Wednesday, and today marks the first birthday of our big rottie, Benton. He was just eleven pounds when we brought him home in August. Now, I would guess he is closer to ninety. The only thing that has grown more than him is his place in our hearts and lives.

What a difference a year makes!

How do I explain what Benton has come to mean to me personally? He is truly a symbol of me becoming a little bit better as a person, a little bit less selfish, a little bit more tender.

Dogs and I. We have not really gotten along too well. For the better part of my life, I avoided dogs. There was a story of a black lab jumping on me and shoving me down when I was preschool age, and I held a grudge against all dogs after that. They smelled funny, they got too close, they didn't respect my personal space. And sometimes they still jumped.

But my husband loves dogs...loves them! And our daughters love dogs, too. At age two, the little one could spot a dog a half mile away. During second grade, older one made multiple presentations on why should get a dog and what breed would fit our family best. But our son felt indifferent about dogs. I sometimes think it was his indifference that swayed me more than the others' intense love. In my head, a boy should love dogs. And I realized that my discomfort with dogs was not something I wanted to pass on to my children.

Benton wasn't the first pup we welcomed into our family. Last July, we brought home another rottie that we named Bates. Having never had a puppy, I couldn't believe how much he was like a baby. He cried when he was sad. He had accidents. He had to learn how to eat and sleep in his new home. And he made my husband glow in the same way he glows when he holds a newborn.

Bates

Sadly, we experienced a very sad accident with Bates and an older, sick dog who mistook him for a threat. We lost him after just six days, and our hearts were broken. I could not believe the pain I felt for him, but I also felt pain for my children and my husband. They were beyond happy with their Bates, and he was gone so quickly and unexpectedly.

We quickly decided that our family was clearly ready to share our hearts with an animal. Any doubt we had felt was swept away by our loss. We located a breeder with a litter that would be ready in a few weeks, and we decided to go for it.

The first day we had our Benton home. What a little guy!

Sky was able to help chose Benton, and I couldn't believe the little butterball they brought home. We all loved him at first sight, and while it hasn't been all roses and sunshine, he is very dear to our hearts.

One of my favorite Benton photos. 

Saying yes to a dog was one of the less selfish things I've done for my family. I would have been content never owning a pet, but others in my family were not. Luckily, the benefits of pet ownership reached me even though I didn't realize that I needed them. He makes my life more lovely. I like having the big boy around. I like how he looks at me with his soulful eyes. I like how he sits on my feet. I like that he needs me and that he's happy to see me. And more than anything, I like how much he loves my family. Who knew that I could have so much in common with a dog?

Simply put, he's good for the soul.

A lovely moment from my day: My nine-year-old daughter is wonderful at adding her special touch to celebrations. Today, she decorated for Benton's big day — streamers and of course, a Scooby Doo birthday banner.

Life is a lovely place...except when it isn't.

Focus on the light. Focus on the love. 

Like the rest of the country, I've been thinking a lot about the events in Boston yesterday. In addition to the physical victims, I keep thinking about the people who love Boston, who call it their home, because when something so tragic happens in your city, it forever changes you. Even things that are not completely related are different. Like sunny Tuesdays in September. Beautiful September Tuesdays will never feel the same to me, whether they fall on the 11th or not.

The thing that helps me cope when tragedy strikes is focusing on the strength of the human spirit. The human capacity to endure and even triumph over pain is truly amazing to me. It stands as a reminder that the world is not a dark, evil place. Strength in spirit is everywhere.

Consider R.A. Dicky. This year's Cy Young winner was featured on 60 Minutes last Sunday. He was a victim of sexual abuse as a child. But he rose above it to be the best at what he does, and more importantly, he works to help victims of human trafficking in India. This man had a very difficult childhood, but he found the strength to use all of his gifts to the fullest. His example actually made me cry because he had every reason to give up on life, but didn't. It makes me ask myself, "Don't I, who had every advantage of a loving, secure environment growing up, have the responsibility to use my strength and gifts, too?"

Examples are found much closer to home as well. The story of a 4-year-old Minnesota boy who nearly drowned has strangers from all over praying for him and his family. His parents journal entries on Caring Bridge are filled with positive reflections and gratitude. Their son has a long recovery ahead of him, and they acknowledge their worries, but the message first and foremost is love. Love for God, for the boy, for each other, for their other children. There is no anger, just strength.

When terrible things happen, it is easy to lose faith. I hate it — hate it — when people elude to there being no hope for the world. "What is this world coming to?" "What is wrong with people today?" "The world is awful." This sort of thinking will only break you. Focus on the love. Focus on the strength. It is there, behind every tragic experience. Open your heart and see it.