Early in our marriage, my husband and I moved to NY. It was exciting, but a little scary too. Though we had married more than six months earlier, it was the move that made me feel like a real grown up. I was moving away from everything familiar.
But we weren't alone out on the East Coast, and that was clear from the very first weekend. We drove our U-Haul to Uncle Jim's in Hamilton Township, NJ--next door to beautiful Trenton. Uncle Jim was my husband maternal uncle. We arrived on what was my college graduation day, back in Vermillion, SD. In order to make it to NY in time to sign our lease and keep the loft space Nathan had found earlier in the month, we had to leave before graduation day. I was disappointed by the timing, but mature enough to get over it in all the ways that mattered.
Jim knew I was missing my graduation day, and he made a point to take us out for dinner to celebrate. I'm fairly certain there was even a toast. I found this incredibly thoughtful, but as I would come to learn over the years, that was just who Jim was. He celebrated others' accomplishments, recognized hard work, and enjoyed spoiling his nephews and nieces (even those of us who he gained via marriage). And man, he was so good at it.
Jim's home became our favorite getaway during our years in NY. He and his girlfriend Cathy welcomed us and gave us a place of peace and relaxation. He made us feel safe by giving us an escape in the days after 9/11. He did these things quietly, asking for nothing in return, and I now regret not making a point to tell him what it meant to have a place to recharge when life in the city exhausted me.
Jim and I shared a great love of food, and so many of my favorites were introduced to me by Jim. He taught Nathan and I about French pressed coffee. He taught us that rum and Cokes tasted better with a wedge of lime. He taught us that stinky cheese meant great taste. His hosting skills were so superior that he managed to spoil and treat you even when he was supposed to be the guest. Every Christmas, Jim shared salamis and sausages, cheeses and pecans, coffee and chocolates. Every year was another chance to spoil all of us.
The past week I've spent time thinking what it must have been like for my mother-in-law to have a brother like Jim to serve as an example for her children. I have a pretty good idea, because I saw how he was with his great nieces and nephews. He was invested and interested in them. He thought they were as cute and funny and smart as their parents think they are. He was giving. He was so, so smart. He lived to his full potential. He was a great friend and partner. He was the best uncle.
Jim's home became our favorite getaway during our years in NY. He and his girlfriend Cathy welcomed us and gave us a place of peace and relaxation. He made us feel safe by giving us an escape in the days after 9/11. He did these things quietly, asking for nothing in return, and I now regret not making a point to tell him what it meant to have a place to recharge when life in the city exhausted me.
Jim and I shared a great love of food, and so many of my favorites were introduced to me by Jim. He taught Nathan and I about French pressed coffee. He taught us that rum and Cokes tasted better with a wedge of lime. He taught us that stinky cheese meant great taste. His hosting skills were so superior that he managed to spoil and treat you even when he was supposed to be the guest. Every Christmas, Jim shared salamis and sausages, cheeses and pecans, coffee and chocolates. Every year was another chance to spoil all of us.
 |
| A few years ago, Nathan, Jim and I were a team for a family grilled cheese contest. The team was clearly stacked, but we won. |
The past week I've spent time thinking what it must have been like for my mother-in-law to have a brother like Jim to serve as an example for her children. I have a pretty good idea, because I saw how he was with his great nieces and nephews. He was invested and interested in them. He thought they were as cute and funny and smart as their parents think they are. He was giving. He was so, so smart. He lived to his full potential. He was a great friend and partner. He was the best uncle.
 |
| All children deserve an Uncle Jim... |
This is such a wonderful post Julie! I have no doubt you will write an amazing Eulogy. I feel so sad you guys lost such an amazing person in your life. Thinking of you.
ReplyDelete